Non-Reciprocal Corollaries

September 29th, 2008

Ever heard of non-reciprocal corollaries? They are humorous (usually!) variations on popular maxims. A well-known example is the following: negative expectations yield negative results; non-reciprocal corollary: positive expectations yield negative results! One of my favorites is this one: in order to get something clean, you must get something else dirty; non-reciprocal corollary: it is possible to get everything dirty without getting anything clean!

Getting just a tad more serious about this, you’ve undoubtedly heard the saying to the effect that one definition of insanity is continuing to do the same thing but expecting a different result. However, have you ever heard the expression. “two inches from gold?” It’s a bit of a variation on the old try, try again maxim. The idea is that a prospector works in his mine for weeks, months, years, (your choice) and finally decides it’s a lost cause and abandons it. What he doesn’t know is that if he had gone on through just two more inches of rock, he would have found a large deposit of gold. Would doing the same thing for another couple of days have been insanity here? I don’t think so.

The point of all of this, to the extent that there is one, is that you can just go ahead and make your own decisions. Go forward, sideways, backwards or quit. Whatever you decide, you’re bound to be able to find a maxim that says you were right.

One thing you’ll always be right doing is visiting Stuff That Helps, and you can do that right here.

Don Lee

Back to Basics

August 13th, 2008

The main thrust of Stuff That Helps is personal development, self-achievement and harnessing that very special power that exists in all of us. Recent items in the blog have strayed off that topic to a greater or lesser extent (mostly greater!). It’s long past time to get back on track.

For me the odyssey started back in the 70s with Joe Karbo’s mail-order book, “The Lazy Man’s Way to Riches.” Along the way there were inputs from Brian Tracy, Anthony Robbins, Maxwell Maltz and numerous others. More recently there was the very popular DVD movie “The Secret” and the somewhat less known but in some ways (in my view) more important DVD movie “What The Bleep Do We Know?” starring Marlee Matlin (one of my favorite people!) possibly best known for her occasional appearances on the TV series “The West Wing.”

The product that brings it all together or perhaps better stated, makes the topic almost idiot-proof, is Louise Hay’s “You Can Heal Your Life.” For me personally, this presentation is the most pragmatic and down-to-earth treatment of this very complex topic, which of course is why it’s our lead item on Stuff That Helps. If you’ve been on a search similar to mine and haven’t yet encountered “You Can Heal Your Life”, hop on over to Stuff That Helps, get yourself Louise Hay’s DVD and treat yourself to a fantastic first day in the rest of your life.

Don Lee

If It Quacks Like A Duck ………

August 2nd, 2008

There’s no doubt that spam has become a major, no, make that gargantuan, irritation. However, some of the measures implemented by some ISPs and e-mail service providers to try to control or reduce it are in some ways equally or even more irritating. In their zeal to try to provide a (quite impossible) spam-free service, these ISPs often stop perfectly legitimate and possibly even important communications.

Case in point: an associate of mine has a Hotmail address, and I have Ymail (a subset of Yahoo mail). I sent her a message and she responded: so far so good. However, in her response she copied 3 or 4 others who would be involved in the issue. So, I then responded using “reply all” and guess what: now I have leprosy! Hotmail rejected the message and the resulting error report read as follows: “Reasons for rejection may be related to content with spam-like characteristics or IP/domain reputation problems.” So, something that was perfectly acceptable yesterday is suddenly the plague today. Mind you, it’s not that the message was delivered to her spam or junk folder, it wasn’t delivered at all!

Speaking for myself, I believe this goes too far. Sure, go ahead and filter messages, but deliver those that appear to be spam to a spam or junk folder that I can access. Don’t send them off to never-never land, and don’t make decisions on my behalf that I don’t get a chance to comment on. As I said, spam is a problem to be sure, but don’t make the cure far worse than the disease.

With that vent out of the way, why not hop on over and check out Stuff That Helps? It won’t do a damned thing about your spam, but it could be exactly what you have been looking in many other areas.

Don Lee
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The (Non-Physical) Pain of Arthritis

June 29th, 2008

I am one of that apparently increasing number of North Americans living with osteoarthritis. I had my right hip replaced about eight years ago, and my knees have what the doctors and radiologists call mild to moderate osteoarthritis degeneration. Not a whole lot of fun.

For a couple of years now I’ve been getting my knees treated using what is called a viscosupplement product, or as I prefer to call it, WD-40 for human use (functionally close though not literally nor medically accurate). Unlike injections of cortisone, which can cause tissue deterioration over time, viscosupplements can be used repeatedly without concern over damage to tissues. These products work in a couple of ways. Initially they add additional lubrication to the joint in a form very similar to what the body produces itself. However, over time it seems that the added material somehow stimulates the body into producing more of its own synovial fluid, and in most cases the injections provide significant relief for a period of six to twelve months.

That’s the good news; the bad news is that here in the Great White North, our wonderful government-sponsored so-called “universal” health care doesn’t cover the cost of these treatments. Most supplementary medical plans do, but for those of us not working for a company group covered by such insurance, we’re on our own. And here’s a great leap of faith that can be performed only by highly-experienced bureaucrats: here in Canada, viscosupplements are not categorized as drugs: they are deemed to be “medical devices” and so are not covered by seniors’ prescription drug coverage either. Now isn’t that just bloody marvelous!

The particular viscosupplement that I’ve been given the last couple of times is Ostenil and you can check out their web site here. And while checking web sites, don’t forget to visit our own Stuff That Helps.

Don Lee

Discrimination

June 25th, 2008

Following along on the theme from the last posting (sort of), a word that has an even worse reputation than “assume” is “discriminate.” Say that word in any of its forms and you’re saying something bad about someone, right? No, wrong!! Intrinsically, discriminate is a very benign and indeed useful word. All it really means is to choose between two or more possibilities. In fact, the Latin root of the word means simply to separate or divide.

Whenever you make a choice between two options, you are, like it or not, discriminating. If one chooses fish over chicken at a dinner buffet, he is in fact discriminating, and someone else making the opposite choice would also be discriminating. Neither person is saying that fish or chicken is bad, they are simply exercising a preference. As with assuming, we all discriminate with virtually every decision we make, and as long we use accurate and valid factors without malice in assuming or discriminating, then they are normal and healthy activities.

Where the problem arises is when discrimination is based on factors that are quite invalid or just flat out wrong. To discriminate based solely on race (or religion or sex or whatever) is not only wrong, it’s also stupid. However, note that the point here is that the act of discrimination itself is not intrinsically bad; it is the flawed material on which the discrimination is based that is bad.

Having said that, and just to blow your mind totally, a strong case can be made that, e.g. racial discrimination, is not really discrimination at all but in reality quite the opposite. Christopher Hitchens said it best in the following quotation:-

“It especially annoys me when racists are accused of ‘discrimination.’ The ability to discriminate is a precious facility; by judging all members of one ‘race’ to be the same, the racist precisely shows himself incapable of discrimination.”

Hmmmm. Isn’t human communication fun?!

Don Lee

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Assumptions

June 21st, 2008

Most people tend to think that to assume something is, by definition, wrong or at least ill-advised. But think about it: we all assume things all the time, several or even several hundred or perhaps thousands of times every day. When you speak or write to someone, you assume he/she will know the meaning of at least most of the words you use and so will understand what you mean (more on that in a moment). When you hear the telephone ring, you assume you should answer it (or not, depending on how many telemarketing calls you get!). When you mention to your neighbor that it’s cold or warm today, you assume he/she is using the same relative scale as you are, and so will understand approximately how warm or cold you feel.

But here’s where it starts to come unglued. If someone in Antarctica is on the phone to someone in Miami and makes the same statement, there may or may not be correct communication, for rather obvious reasons (I’m assuming you can see that!). If an American tells a Canadian that he wants a quart of milk, depending on his age the Canadian may not have any idea what he means, or if he does he may envision a different measure. That’s because some years ago Canada converted to the metric system and we now use liters for liquid measure. However, older Canadians will remember quarts but will remember them as having 40 ounces, whereas the American quart is 32 ounces (even that is not exactly correct because the size of an ounce was slightly different as well). Before going metric, Canada was on the British Imperial measurement system which had 40 ounces to the quart. However, the American is likely to assume that everyone knows what a quart is.

My former wife had an aunt who used to drive her around the bend with assumptions. This aunt was a farm wife who was a great cook and baker, and my wife would often ask for the recipe for something we had just enjoyed. But when she got home and read the recipe, she would almost always see a statement something like this: “… then add flour until it looks right.” The assumption here of course is that the aunt assumes everyone (at least everyone who could cook or bake) would know what “right” means in this context!

When you analyze the issue, in some ways it’s really rather surprising that we communicate so well so much of the time. Consider the process: I have a thought in my mind that I want to communicate to you (exactly what I am doing right now). So I put that thought into words, and I select, and then organize, those words according to my education, background, experience, environment, culture and so on. You receive those words and then interpret them in accordance with all of your education, experience, etc., and this results in a thought or picture forming in your mind. Now if our education and other things are reasonably similar, there’s a pretty good chance that the thought that ends up in your mind is fairly close to the one that was in my mind. However, the more of those parameters that differ, and the degree to which they differ, the more likely it is that the thought that forms in your mind is quite a bit different than the one that started out in mine.

So go ahead and make assumptions: just stop and think for a minute to make sure that they are valid and appropriate to the circumstances.

Don Lee

PS: I’m assuming that if you found this helpful you’ll want to find more Stuff That Helps, and you can do that by clicking here.

A Lesson from Sports

June 5th, 2008

Bob Bly had an interesting piece in today’s Early To Rise newsletter. He compared business to baseball (well, actually, baseball IS a business, but that’s a different story) and he made a very interesting point. The best team in baseball right now has a won/lost record of something like 38/22, which means that it loses nearly 4 of every 10 games it plays. If you consider batting averages, the comparison is even more dramatic: a batting average of .333 is considered fantastic, but the flip side of that is that the hitter in question bombs out 2/3 of the time! As you may or may not know, Babe Ruth, the legendary home run king of the 30s, was also the strikeout king. Bly went on to relate these stats to business owners, making the point that many of them will try something (e.g. direct mail) once, and give up on it if it doesn’t produce a landslide of orders. Of course, the better thing to do is to try several different direct mail pieces, see which one draws the best response and go on from there to optimize further.

Relating that to our personal lives, a lot of people will try something once or twice, and give it up if they don’t see immediate and dramatic results. In many cases, people won’t even try something for fear they will fail (now there’s a subject that could fill pages!). I once heard the only foolproof way of avoiding failure: NEVER TRY ANYTHING NEW! Continuing the sports theme, one of the big basketball stars has said that you’ll always miss the shot you don’t take. In hockey, it’s well known that if you keep going for the net, good things will happen.

Here at Stuff That Helps, we’re trying to bring you products that will encourage you to make those swings and take those shots. We certainly not guaranteeing that you will see dramatic results in 24 hours, but we do believe that if you really want to improve many aspects of your life, here you’ll find some excellent tools to help you along the way. Go ahead: swing away, and take that shot!

Don Lee

Hobby Horse

June 2nd, 2008

One of my more pleasurable activities is home wine making. It’s one of my favorites for a couple of quite different reasons, one very practical, the other somewhat more philosophical. On the practical side, I take a certain amount of glee from the fact that I can enjoy an alcoholic beverage without making an involuntary contribution to the treasuries of at least two levels of government. As we all know, the tax load on alcohol is something close to obscene, more or less so depending on where you live. However, if you buy the raw material (grape juice primarily) and do the fermentation at home, then you escape this tax burden and thus add that much more pleasure to the enjoyment of the beverage.

From the philosophical viewpoint, home wine making is a study of life itself. Now, that may be dramatizing the topic a bit excessively, but the point is that the transformation of fruit juice into wine is indeed a life process. The agent that performs this minor miracle is yeast, and what a lot of people don’t realize is that yeast is a living organism, actually a form of fungus; fermentation is the result of its life cycle.

I believe this process was summed up quite precisely, if somewhat crudely, by a Master Distiller at a distillery in Scotland on a television program I saw some years ago. As he put it, yeast is an organism that eats sugar, pisses alcohol, and farts carbon dioxide! Crude or not, that is exactly what happens: yeast is an asexual organism that propagates by division, so the yeast grows by consuming the sugar in the fruit juice, dividing to produce more yeast spores until the population has consumed all the sugar (in most cases) and then goes dormant when the sugar is exhausted. Along the way it excretes alcohol and carbon dioxide, or stated somewhat more politely than we did above, it converts the sugar to alcohol and carbon dioxide. In most cases the latter is simply allowed to escape, although this is not the case for most forms of sparkling wine (and also beer).

So, if you enjoy a glass of wine now again (in my own case that’s more like again and again!) and if you get even more enjoyment from not donating to the coffers of governments, try home wine making: drink some wine and pay less tax, now how can you go wrong?!

Don Lee

PS: For Stuff That Helps in a somewhat more uplifting way, do visit our web site.

Theatre and Life

May 20th, 2008

Two postings ago I spoke about our local little theatre production of Cole Porter’s “Anything Goes.” Well, it opened on schedule and closed after a very successful run of six performances. And successful is definitely the right word: the acting, music, costumes, sets and everything else all came together, and all audiences seemed to thoroughly enjoy their experience. I don’t have enough theatrical experience to know if this is typical, but just a few weeks before the opening curtain I felt that it was going to be a real bomb. Things just weren’t clicking and I was very concerned that we would have people walking out at the intermission! But suddenly everything started to mesh, and the final result was a tremendous success by any standard. I was proud to have been a part of it.

On a significantly sadder note, we had a fairly major tragedy in our family recently: my youngest son’s best friend was killed in a motorcycle mishap. We all hear about traffic fatalities all the time, and if you’re like me, they are remote and have very little impact. However, when it’s someone you know well, that’s a whole different thing. It’s also much more difficult when the victim is someone in the prime of his life: it’s sad when anyone dies, of course, but if it’s an old fart like me, or someone who has been fighting cancer or other disease, it’s expected. It’s still difficult, but somehow manageable. But when you lose someone young and healthy with no warning at all, it’s like a house has fallen on you. It’s going to take us a while to get over this, and it will take my son the longest.

Don Lee

Stuff That Helps

Panic Button

May 17th, 2008

Here’s an idea that’s been going around in an e-mail that started out God knows where and when. However, unlike a lot of similar items that are little more than cyberspace clutter, this one is a damned good idea. It has to do with your car keys: yes, your car keys, and only when they’re not in the car.

This is the scoop: if you have a set of car keys with remote control buttons attached, particularly a panic or alarm button, keep those keys on your bedside table within reach at night. Then if you hear what could be someone trying to break into the house, hit the panic button. Very few sneak thieves are going to stick around in the presence of flashing lights and blowing horns.

Most of these remote devices have a pretty good range; you’ve undoubtedly located your car in a large busy parking lot by operating the remote while still some distance away. Nonetheless, before relying on this as a dependable home alarm, check it out; try it from your bedroom with your car in any of the parking places it’s likely to be. After all, if you want a REAL panic, try hitting a panic button that doesn’t work!

One final note: pass this idea along. To everyone. It’s one of those little things that could save someone an awful lot of grief.

Of course, this is just more of Stuff That Helps, so do check us out, and also pass along our site address when forwarding the idea.

Don Lee